How to Mock Your Prince
by ScherzoVivace
Summary: Princes have flaws too. And you're about to expose them. Some light conversation you have with your Prince. It gets pretty fired up as you irritate him more and more. Read and find out how you can annoy and irritate your prince!
1. Chapter 1: Echizen Ryoma

How to Mock your Prince

Chapter 1: Echizen Ryoma

Act 1: Annoyance

"Hey Ryoma." You call him.

"What."

"Is it just me or is your catch phrase really annoying. Mwada Mwada Dwane~"

"…It's just you."

"Well then… how about your tennis moves. That samurai drive you thought of? I mean, Jesus Christ! How in the world is that thing scientifically possible? You freaking jump like hundred feet in the air and go like bam~ and suddenly the freaking ball spins onto the net and pop! It splits in half. Totally. I don't think it's possible at all."

"It is…!" He starts to get irritated.

"And Tenin Muhou no Kiwami or whatever… holy crap. How does your hair magically wave and all and how to you err, produce light? Really, that's probably one of the most outrageous thing I've ever seen ever since I realized monkeys are related to us."

He doesn't say anything.

Act 2: Mockery

"And oh! That catchphrase of yours in English… PUHAHAHAHA!"

You see veins popping from his head.

"You still… have lots more to work on…! Puhahahaha, I have to admit, Ryoma, your accent is hilarious. I think it should be a new trend."

"Shut up."

"And you were sooooo adorable when you cried! And when you won the nationals! Awwwwww"

"I said, shut up!" He is very irritated by then.

"Aw man, so cold. So, when are you going to start making out with that annoying Sakuno girl."

He blushes. "I-I'm not going to make out with her!"

"Why not? She's all over you, man. Ryoma-kun~ Ryoma-kun~" You imitate the girl.

"You're hopeless…"

"Ooh, and your brother! Gosh. I honestly think that he looks waaaaaaaay better than you and your daddy. Ooop, I said it."

"Shut up~!"

Act 3: Compensation

"But you know what I think? I think you're a really hard worker."

"Huh…?" He's slightly puzzled to hear such thing from you.

"I think you're really cute too. And you have good heart, and you're the Prince of Tennis!"

"Thanks…?"

"And heck, you're a good singer! Really Ryoma, I think this is why so many girls like you." You say, then run off and leave the confused little boy behind.

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><p>I accept request to mock! Please PM on which characters you wish to mock! :)<p>

-ScherVi


	2. Chapter 2: Atobe Keigo

How to Mock Your Prince

Chapter 2: Atobe Keigo

Act 1: Annoyance

"Hey, monkey king." You call him. He spurts out the tea he was graciously drinking.

"What is it, aahn?"

"EW STOP DOING THAT AAHN THINGY! You sound like a pedophile." You shudder.

"You have a problem with Ore-sama's way of talking?" He asks. He's slightly irritated.

"Uh, YES. Everyone does. Ore-sama this ore-sama that, what do you think you are, a god? Talking in third person… I think you need to go back to your first year and get that right!"

"Ore-sa—I mean, I… do not wish to hear such thing from you."

Act 2: Mockery

"And really, I dislike your hair. Your bangs aren't even bangs and ugh… it looks so… outdated, you know? Old-fashioned."

"I take pride in my hair."

"Really? Cuz I though you looked better when you completely shaved it off after losing to Ryoma. And gosh, you lost to a freaking kid!"

His ego was slightly perked up at that.

"Don't worry man, hair grows out. And stop making Kabaji do all the things! Do you even pay him? Do you treat him nicely? NO! I don't see any of it. Jeesh, you know, slavery was banned in early freaking 1900s, and yet you're still doing it. What a KKK."

His face turns red.

"And that towering ego of yours! I wish the twin tower from 9/11 was not that tower but your oh-so-high-ego tower. I've never seen a modest side of you. You know, I think this whole "self-proclaimed" King really works on you, since you act so high and mighty and stuff. But actually, I think Yukimura or Sanada or Tezuka is fit to be a true king."

"I…! Am… the King!" He manages to say.

"Uh, psh. No. Really, the Big Three are amazing as ever, Tezuka-san is just mind-blowing. Their awesomeness is skyrocketing, and I think even Po from Kung Fu Panda will acknowledge their awesomeness. But not you. He'll probably kick you out or something."

He is more and more flustered. You are enjoying this. (I know I am)

"Ore sama no bigi ni~ yoina~ BLECH. Your prowess? Really? I don't think you have one in particular. I think Child of God Yukimura has that privilege. Hehe. And stop with that finger-snapping of yours! And it takes you freaking 2 minutes to enjoy your, "Winner is Hyotei! Winner is Atobe~"! I was thinking the whole time, 'alright, you have quite the team, so shut up and get on with the game.' the whole time. Gross, it's not like you need to or else you die… I know Tezuka-san doesn't do that. He's just a hot piece of bad sexy boy on court but you're like a… hmm…" You glance at him, from head to toe. "I don't know. A rotten banana? Ooh, I know. Monkey from circus. That's the right word!"

"Stop calling me a monkey!"

"And you're freaking, filthy rich. Do you ever donate? To charity and stuff? I guess not. That's too greedy, man, share some love, not spending it on stupid school festivals."

He is irritated to the top.

"Narcissist. That's what people call you. Narci, Narci, oh Narci."

"I have pride, that's all."

"Nope. It's called Narcissist. Do you kiss yourself when you look in the mirror? Because Narcissus actually did that. Gross. I'd rather go kiss Tezuka-san than kiss myself."

Act 3: Compensation

"But I think you're pretty good looking."

"What…? I mean, of course I am."

"And your pride might be a good thing time to time."

He's awed at your compliments.

"And you're a decent singer… and a caring, model captain… alright. Bye-bye monkey king~ Ooga ooga!"

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><p>PM me on which Prince you wish to mock!<p> 


	3. Chapter 3: Sanada Genichirou

How to Mock Your Prince

Chapter 3: Sanada Genichirou

Requested by **Samantha Fleur**

Act 1: Annoyance.

"Sanada!" You purposely yell loud to startle him. You see him twitch a little from surprise, but he hides it.

"Aw, man… this is why you're no fun. I bet you're not that popular with ladies."

"I'm not interested in such things at the moment."

"Hey man, a boy around your age should start workin'! It's a world~ of survival~ and competition~" you put an arm around his shoulder and draw a rainbow across the empty space in front of your faces.

"I said, I'm not interested."

"Hmph, so boring. Saying Tarundoru! All the time and stuff."

Act 2: Mockery

"And stop scolding Akaya so much! Gosh, he's fine the way he is, why slap him for being who he is? You child abuser! And it's not his fault that he's bad at English so much! Give him a breeze, sheesh!"

Sanada's eyebrows raise at this.

"And hitting your teammates because they lost…? You know, that kind of painful memory inflects shock into children's brain and they suffer Post Traumatic Deficiency Syndrome from it! You're scarring them for life!"

"It's a necessary consequence."

"Ugh, no one would want you as a daddy being like that… and I've been wondering… psst." You tell him to scoot his ear closer. A little curious, he moves a milliliter.

"Are you really 15, not 40…?" Then you scoot away, and look at him. His face turns dark, and he glares at you.

"Uwaaa demon fuku-buchou's going to eat me!" You put a slight sarcasm into it.

"Tarundoru!" You again say, which synchronizes with what he said.

"See, I totally had that coming. Okay, okay, I won't bother you too much anymore, but answer me this: why did you turn like this when you were so adorable in your first year…?"

His face darkens again.

"I mean, I saw it, the three of you "Demons". Yukimura kinda looked the same, and Yanagi looked aaah-DOOOR-RABLE! And you looked sooooo cute! So tell me, what happened. Did you experience something bad over these two years…?"

"I did not!"

"Then… hm. I don't know how I can relate that with you. I just… I mean, you looked pretty old back then too, but not this much. I didn't know so much could change in mere two years. Heck, ever since grade school! Wait, no… you looked really old back then too."

Sanada's trying to hold his anger. You decide to stop there (I would stop there. Heck, a long time ago); you certainly don't want to agitate the Emperor.

Act 3: Compensation

"But I was really moved when I realized you worked really hard to beat Tezuka. And you did. Good job; I was very moved."

"…" He doesn't say anything, except his face isn't as tense.

"I think you're an epitome of an ideal hard-worker. A good model for your peers and your kouhai too. I'm jealous of your teammates."

"…" His face is definitely softer.

"Although you're stoic, you really care for your friends and teammates, I could tell. You worried and comforted Yukimura when he was ill, and paid extra attention to Akaya to have him succeed in his classes. And I think your moral codes are very admirable. "Beating opponent who is at their best"… you helped Echizen get his memory back with Atobe. That was very admirable."

"…" His face is slightly satisfied; he kind of wants you to continue.

"And~ I guess you're pretty hot. You're at my top 10 list, so you're pretty darn hot. And your voice is sexy! Gaahhh it's like sexiness overload when you sing. Hahaha. Well then, Sanada, bye bye~"

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><p><em>PM me on which Prince you wish to mock! <em>

_Gaaahhh, I cannot make fun of some characters...! I love Sanada and I just couldn't think of his bad sides! And the same for Yanagi! And Akaya! And Shiraishi! But I will try my best. :) _


	4. Chapter 4: Fuji Syuusuke

How to Mock Your Prince

Chapter 4: Fuji Syuusuke

Requested by **Quixling**

Act 1: Annoyance

"Excuse me, miss…" You look at him and say.

"…?" He looks confused, and looks behind him.

"I meant you!"

"Huhu. You're funny."

"Thanks. Um, I've always been wondering."

"Yes?"

"Why are your eyes closed? Do you have allergies?"

"Hahaha, I don't."

"Then why?"

"…" He pauses; he just realized he doesn't really have a good explanation for that.

"Huhuhu… I wonder why…" He retorts.

Act 2: Mockery

"So you don't even know yourself. A~Ah, how boring. Well I know another person that has closed eyes: Yanagi Renji. Gosh, he looks so hawt with his eyes open! But you… eh, I dunno. I guess it looks cool, but it's not as special, you know?"

He didn't like how you said he isn't as "special" as Yanagi Renji.

"I sometimes question your tastes buds."

"A lot of people say."

"Also… care for your brother more, will you? He obviously doesn't like being covered by you. You should give him more respect and things."

"…"

"And tell me; do you get like, estrogen shots…? I mean, your voice is girly, you look like a girl, and you kind of act like one too. Psst. What's the secret…?"

He doesn't really reply, but you know he's a little irritated.

"Are you… in that kind of relationship with… Tezuka? Ewwww…"

"I am not! I'm perfectly healthy and straight!" He falters a bit.

"Are you really a sadist…?"

"I'm not a sadist! Just because I said that I want to see people in pain from the practice!"

"But you obviously seem like one. And I don't really understand your counters. Where to the names come from? Isn't it really random? And it's technically… not possible."

"Well, I use it in matches, don't I?"

"Also, I don't quite get your play style. In other words, you don't have one." You criticize; he stops smiling.

"It's not offensive, it's not defensive, it's not this or that. That's why Tezuka beats you every time."

You hit him right on the spot.

"Honestly, I don't see why you're a tensai. You didn't even open Tenin Muhou no Kiwami yet, unlike Kirihara or Tezuka and other people. All you know is how to hit the ball with your eyes closed, which you do all the time, and come up with counters that can be broken anytime. Kirihara seems like a tensai to me; and he works extra hard unlike you. I don't see you working extra, extra hard like Kirihara or Tezuka. Sure you might work hard, but not as much as some other people. To be honest, I think Kirihara should've beaten you."

He's slightly hurt. Actually, a lot. You decided to stop there; you don't want to hurt the poor boy that's always smiling and nice to everyone. (I would stop there. I felt so bad as I wrote this… sniff)

Act 3: Compensation

"But hey, those counters are actually pretty clever and amazing. No one can copy it, and it's just superb!" You praise him. He's slightly puzzled.

"I know you're a hard worker. It touched me every time you fought Tezuka. Although you lost, you show progress every time. That's what matters, no?"

"I guess." He smiles a little.

"And the way you care for your brother… it's very outstanding. I was cheering you the whole time when you creamed Mizuki. Hehe."

"Thanks." He chuckles.

"And you're really pretty~ huhu, I mean, good looking. And most of all, you're nice. Then bye bye Fuji~"

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><p><em>PM (or leave a review) on which Prince you wish to mock!<em>


	5. Chapter 5: Niou Masaharu

How to Mock Your Prince

Chapter 5: Niou Masaharu

Requested by **qints**

Act 1: Annoyance

"Hey, rattail"

"Me?"

"Yeah you, who else in the show has a rattail?"

"Puri."

"Why do you grow a rattail anyways? You looked completely fine back in 2nd year."

"…that's a secret"

"Gross. I don't think I want to know now."

"And stand straight, or else you'll be a hunchback!" You pat him on the back.

"Puri."

Act 2: Mockery

"What's up with Puri, Piyo, or Pupiina? It's not even a word, and it doesn't mean anything."

"That's the point."

"That's plain dumb. You're a freaking 15-year old for god's sake. Stop babbling like a baby who can't talk properly. It's annoying too."

"…" He didn't expect to hear "dumb" until now.

"And stop teasing poor Akaya! You made him run 100 laps on his first entrance into the club! What kind of senpai are you!" You point a finger at him; he's taken aback a little.

"Puri. I'm the trickster; I can't help it."

"Ugh, whatever. And… did you know?" You show him the picture; he looks at it, and turns beat red. The card says "Happy white day" with him putting a box of chocolate under his chin.

"Pffft. This is from the white day bromide card. PUHAHAHAHAHAHA" You laugh again. "You look ridiculous! What did you do to look so stupid in this? HAHAHAHAHA!"

"And that one scene when you popped up behind Fuji Yuuta in a vampire costume! You look dumb in that whole series too! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!"

He's speechless; he admits it himself. It does look pretty ridiculous.

"Sorry man… and that mole under your mouth kind of bothers me too. It looks like a sesame's stuck on your chin or something after a meal."

"It's a charm point~"

"That's the optimistic view. And… okay. Your tennis. What's it called, the Trick play? Dude, that's not even tennis."

He's offended.

"Like, trick play…? I guess that's a tactic, but that's definitely how you're supposed to play tennis. And you don't really have any special shots other than meteor drive, and becoming other players. And that seems pretty outrageous too; illusion or whatever, that doesn't err, I don't know. I don't see how it works."

"That's why it's an illusion."

"And that's why it fails in the end."

Oof. That hit him hard.

"That's probably why you lost to Fuji and your partner Yagyuu. And he didn't seriously start tennis until 3rd year. Man, I'd be a bit ashamed. Actually, a lot."

He's speechless. You decided to stop there; not only you run out of things to mock, but you feel bad.

Act 3: COMPENSATION

"Hey, hey Niou~ forget what I said; it was a joke. Heh. A trickster should know."

"Eh?"

"Well… Trick play is a clever play I guess. Only you can do it; it's quite impressive, really."

"Piyo"

"And those words of yours are actually pretty cute. Since you say it~ hehehe. Okay, I'm still not sure about the rattail idea, but your mole is actually a charm point, and gosh, you're one hell of a sexy bomb. Your hotness is skyrocketing. Did you know? I'm saying you're really good looking and hot!"

"Uh… sure."

"So many girls like you; it's probably because you're so mysterious and all. Hehe. You're such a good singer too! And funny! I love it when you pull tricks on people. It's hilarious. And when you ordered Kabaji to carry Momoshiro in Atobe's voice, I thought that was so nice of you. I never knew you had that kind of a side."

He blushes a little.

"Hehe. Now I see why you're popular. Then, keep up the good tricks, Petenshi~ Puri!"

* * *

><p>AN: *For the bromide that he looks hilarious in… search on Google, it'll be on the first page. He looks ridiculous in that one, and I laughed for a whole hour. And for the pair puri… well it's a YuutaxSyuusuke picture drama.

PM/review on which prince you wish to mock!


	6. Chapter 6: Mizuki Hajime

How to Mock Your Prince

Chapter 6: Mizuki Hajime

Requested by **heisuke28**

Act 1: Annoyance

"Oh, it's that creepy guy from St. Rudolph!"

"Are you talking about me?"

"Yeah."

"…"

"…"

"OH! I know who you remind me of now!"

"Who is it?"

"Your face reminds me of Kirihara."

"I do not look like him!" He's slightly insulted to hear that he's being compared to Kirihara.

"If I replace your hair with curly black hair and change your eyes to green, you definitely look like him. And you guys smile the similar way too."

"I said I do not look like him at all!"

Act 2: Mockery

"Heh, but I honestly think Kirihara looks way better than you. And he's cuter."

"…Kuhuhu. It's okay, my beauty's just misunderstood." He said, trying to press the anger.

"EW STOP LAUGHING LIKE THAT! YOU PEDO-BEAR!" You shudder as he laughs in his signature way. "Ah man, I'm getting goosebumps… oh, and I was wondering."

"?"

"Are you a team member?"

"No, I'm just a manager."

"YOU WERE A MANAGER?"

"Uh… yes."

"Then why'd you play Fuji!"

"Because… I wanted to beat him?"

"But you didn't. OOF." You see ticks on his forehead. "And you're not even good at tennis."

Uh-oh, that hit the spot.

"Collecting data and making scenario… come on man, it failed two times in a row." You nag. "And you didn't even get perfect data. Honestly, you need to go learn a thing or two from Data Master Yanagi or Inui."

"…" He tries to remain calm and twirls his hair.

"Are you insecure? You're always tousling with your hair."

"I'm not insecure. It makes me focus and remain calm."

"So you are insecure."

"…" He does not respond; he can't.

"Dude, and seriously, you deserved to be creamed by Fuji cuz' you made poor Yuuta do the most dangerous shot ever. You know you can be sued for that kind of stuff. It's called first degree child abuse I think."

He turns a bit blue after you tell him the charge. I say I'd stop scaring the boy.

Act 3: Compensation

"But you really work hard for you team. I like your diligence. And you're ambitious too."

"?"

"I guess you're not that bad looking. At least better than the dark dude in your team. What's his face, uh… Akazawa. Yeah."

Smile forms on his lips and he twirls his hair again.

"Don't sweat it from what I said. And you're really well-mannered too! I kind of annoyed Sanada the other day, and he was about to eat me. It's not that he has bad manners, it's just… hm. Being nice to the ladies. Yeah."

"O-Okay."

"Hehe, and it's cute when you're trying to get attention from Fuji all the time… ooohlala~ I'm not implying anything!" You say as you run off.

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><p>More reviews = Faster Updates!<p> 


	7. Chapter 7: Yukimura Seiichi

How to Mock Your Prince

Chapter 7: Yukimura Seiichi

Requested by: **ElizabethAnna**

Act 1: Annoyance.

"Excuse me, miss…" You call him out the way you called Fuji out.

"Me?" He turns around and looks at you; oh, how beautiful a man could be. You forget to blink and almost drool. But you're not here to gaze at him; you snap out and talk again.

"Yeah."

"Huhu, do I look as pretty as a girl?" He chuckled.

'_T-This guy's challenging to mock…!' _

"Err, no… not really. I just thought your voice was a little… hmm. Unlikely for a Child of God."

"I get that a lot, yes." He says, unaffected.

"_How do I annoy him…! _Um, so… I heard you like flowers…"

"I do."

"You know flowers carry pollens and seeds and things that could give you weird diseases and allergies?" You say, remembering what you saw on the national geographic channel. He give you a curious and odd look. "For example, some give off chemical that decrease your testosterone level and make you… basically a woman. I think it's affecting you now. Uh-oh."

Act 2: Mockery (Don't try this at home kids)

"…" Yukimura was getting bothered by how you titled him as a "girl."

"And, err… you know, I just can't shake off the thought you have a thing for Sanada."

"Thing…?"

"Yeah. Um… hm, how should I explain. You guys have a little this and that. Like boy-boy relationship."

"WE DO NOT!" He freaked out.

"Okay, chill. And I really don't see how you're doing that extrasensory perception thing. You know, it's kind of like… magic. So it's technically not possible. At least in my world."

"…"

"I thought Konomi-sensei was getting pretty overboard with these skills, and I expected the last boss to be like, super amazing with awesome shots and stuff but… tsk."

He's definitely pissy.

"I mean, you're supposed to have like, amazing special shots like Sanada's Fuurinkazan…"

He's definitely pissed off now that you compared him with Sanada.

"And Child of God…? So I heard you never gave a point and lost for like, all your life and that's why you got your name, but…"

"…?"

"You lost to a freaking 1st year."

Oof, a nice blow.

"And it's not like his serve was any faster than Ootori's scud serve. And his shots weren't anything special. I don't get the logic behind that if people just use freaking laser beams and make copies of themselves and stuff…"

He's really hurt; guilt was taking over him, and he had a gloomy face. Poor boy; you feel twice as bad, since he looks really fragile.

ACT 3: COMPENSATION

"But hey, I think you're probably the best buchou out of everyone!" You compliment, which relieves tension on his features.

"And that name Child of God fits on you since you literally REVIVED from Guillain-Barre Syndrome. That is just a miracle; I knew you could do it."

"Really?"

"Yup. I mean, you guys technically ARE the strongest team out there. I think Rikkaidai losing to Seigaku was the biggest b.s. and you're amazing at tennis! I bet if you go against Ryoma you could beat him."

A smile forms on his lips, and he has his usual ever-smiling face again.

"And you're really nice~ Oh, and you're pretty hot too. It's like the two sides of the same coin, ya' know? One time you're nice and calm and all but when you play tennis you're serious and cool. It's sexy."

He chuckles.

"Thanks."

"Alright then! Take care!"

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><p><strong>AN: Aggggghhh it was soooo hard for me to write one about Yukimura... sob sob. I feel so bad mocking such a sweet boy T_T**

**And I'll have the hardest time writing it for some other characters that I simply LOVE**

**REVIEWS! Review on which prince you wish to mock! :) **


	8. Chapter 8: Shiraishi Kuranosuke

How to Mock Your Prince

Chapter 8: Shiraishi Kuranosuke

Requested by **Aisian lover**

Act 1: Annoyance

"AAAAHNNN ECSTASY~" You mimic Shiraishi's signature line; he notices and laughs.

"Quite close, quite close." He says and nods. "You have to do it in the exact same pitch change as Atobe's aahn. So it's like, AAHN, ECSTASY~"

"…" You give him the weird stare. "That really sounds misleading."

"How?" He blinks; you groan a little.

"N-Never mind. But dude, you know what's really sketchy?"

"What is it?"

"Ecstasy is a name of a drug. Are you… a druggie?" You gasp and point your finger at him.

"HUH?"

Act 2: Mockery

"Um… so, uh, ecstasy is a drug. Just to let you know. And it kinda fits in when you put that in your signature line. Like, you're really enjoying it… too much."

"I don't do drugs."

"But you sound like a druggie."

"…"

"…I saw that your favorite flowers are poisonous flowers."

"Yeah. As poisonous as they are, they're pretty."

"…you are actually a pretty darn sketchy person; I should advise others to keep away."

"It's not like that! I'm not sketchy!"

"And you pull nasty prank on your kouhai Kintarou. That's too mean, since he can get nightmares."

"But that's to control a little blockhead whenever he's too stubborn!"

"Yeah, yeah. Oh, and dude how did you err, win against Fuji…? Isn't he better than you?"

That gave him quite the blow.

"I mean, if you played him again, then I bet you'd lose."

"I won't."

"But Fuji doesn't lose to the same opponent twice. And I heard he made up more counters!"

"Counters have their own limits."

"But Fuji's counters are really hard to receive. And when Niou became you while he played Fuji, Fuji definitely crushed you."

"…" He knows he's not that confident in beating again, since he won 7-5 on a close call the last time.

Act 3: COMPENSATION T_T

"Hey, hey, what's with the long face, I didn't say you can't win!" You slap him on the back and laugh.

"Wha…"

"I mean, you're tennis is _perfect._ I don't see any flaws. That's amazing. And I honestly think you're ten times way better than Fuji when it comes down to techniques and mentality."

"Thanks." He smiles.

"And speaking of which, you are HAWT. Probably the most good looking guy out of the tenipuri players."

"T-Thanks." He blushes a little.

"Gaaah and your voice is just so sexy~ when you sing it sounds like a professional's singing."

"Ahaha, that's a bit too much."

"No, I really can't find any girls that don't think so. And you became a buchou in your 2nd year! That's amazing! And you care a lot for your teammates too."

"Ahahaha, it's nothing too big."

"Such modesty~ I heard you're really nice and funny. Alright then, bye~"

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><p><strong>AN: I apologize if this chapter was a bit boring. I CAN'T BEAR TO MOCK MY KU-CHAN T_T THIS WAS SO HARD. **

**It's so hard for me to mock my favorite characters... so please bear with it if it isn't as provoking.**

**Leave a review on which prince you wish to mock!**


	9. Chapter 9: Kirihara Akaya

How to Mock Your Prince

Chapter 9: Kirihara Akaya

Requested by **tsuki-shinigami**

Act 1: Annoyance

"Hey Bakaya~"

"Did you just call me Bakaya." He looks at you and asks with his mouth open.

"Yeah, Bakaya!"

"Stop calling me that!"

"Okay, Wakame."

"AAAGHHHH NOT YOU TOO!" He grips his hair and pulls on it.

"Why, I like it. Your hair really does resemble seaweed."

"IT DOES NOT!"

"Uh, yeah. That's why everyone calls you seaweed head." You snicker, and Akaya's obviously frustrated.

"My hair does NOT look like a seaweed."

"…yeah."

"No."

"Yeah." You snicker a little.

"No."

"Yeah."

"No." He's ticked off—a lot.

"No."

"Yea—what the—don't go on using reverse psychology on me!" He fumes in anger. Oh how fun it is to tease the sheltered little boy.

Act 2: Mockery (Sorry Akaya T_T You know I love you *sniffle)

"And dude, do you get high on drugs during a match? You know that's an automatic DQ?"

"I don't get high." He groans.

"Then what's up with the red eyes! You go like, "I'LL CRUSH YOU" and laugh like an evil maniac and all…"

"That's my play." He curtly answers.

"Hnn~ well then… OH! Did you know?"

"What."

"You're the shortest in the group." You snicker—it's pretty immature to pick on height, but it does the trick when it comes down to a certain seaweed head.

"I'M A SECOND YEAR AND I HAVE THE PRIVILEGE!" He yells and snaps.

"Well dude, Ootori from Hyotei's freaking 185 centimeters tall. And you're… 168. Huh, 17 centimeters difference… scary. And it's funny since a little guy's being all cocky and stuff… it's hard to take seriously."

"I'm not talking to you." He pouts. You coo inside, but your job is to mock him.

"Hey wakame."

"What."

"Oop, you just responded to the name."

"You…! You…!"

"Um. So, speaking of you in first year…"

"What about my first year."

"I saw in the OVA series you had to write "apple" like gazillion times… pfffft"

He blushed into deep red.

"APPLE! It's a freaking APPLE! PUHAHAHAHAHA! I learned that in kindergarten man! Even Asian kids in kindergarten know APPLE in English!"

"Shut up."

"Ehem. Anyways, why do you hurt people so much?"

"So that I can win."

"But for that Tachibana dude you didn't even need to hurt him. You're good enough."

"Heh, I still won in the end. I don't lose."

"But you lost to Ryoma and Fuji. And that devil mode's just like… oh-mah-effing-gad."

He doesn't say anything; you hurt him. A lot. (ASDJ:SDF I FEEL SO BAD TT_TT)

Act 3: COMPENSATION (TT_TT)

It looks like he's about to burst out crying.

"Oh my gosh I'm so sorry! I didn't mean any of that!" You start to flail as tears wells up in his eyes.

"Akaya, you're probably the most hardworking person ever in tenipuri series, I admire it!"

"R-Really…?" He sniffles and looks at you.

"AWWWWW!" You finally let all the "coos" you wanted to do and give him a bear hug. "SO CUTE!"

He blushes again and stops crying.

"Did you know you're the cutest thing out of all the tennis players in tenipuri? Like, Kikumaru tries to act cute, but I just hate that kind of "out-there" cute, and you're like, the cute little boy!"

"T-Thanks…?"

"And you're such a good singer. And you're good looking, and your hair is adorable."

He blushes harder—it's just too cute.

"And on top of that, you're really good at tennis! You activated Muga no Kyouchi, and I bet you can unlock all the doors pretty soon! I think you're the prodigy in tennis! And psst"

"Hm?" He scoots closer.

"You could've beaten Fuji if you trained like a teeny tiny bit harder. Rikkaidai's going to be safe in your hands!"

"Thanks!" He brightens up and grins.

"Awww." You give him a final hug, and leave. "Bye *Aka-chan~~ You're cute like a baby~!"

* * *

><p>*Aka-chan can be translated into "baby" in Japanese.<p>

**Gaaahhh Akayaaaa T_T I love this guy way too much (he's my number 1.5) and I JUST CAN'T MOCK HIM T_T You know I love you, Akaya, you know. **

**Review on which prince you wish to mock! :) Feedback would be nice too!**


	10. Chapter 10: Shishido Ryou

How to Mock Your Prince

Chapter 10: Shishido Ryou

Requested by **Raf Kowalski**

Act 1: Annoyance

"So, um…" You begin. He's pretty blunt; he just looks at you.

"So, I saw you when you actually had… long hair." You say. He's kind of embarrassed. "And uh… I don't know. I heard from Ootori that you take pride in that hair, but…"

"but?"

"Eeh, it really doesn't suit you. Glad you cut it."

"That's ridiculous, my hair was amazing!"

"Not really. And guess what? You seem like such a shorty next to Ootori!" You snicker.

Act 2: Mockery

"And your catchphrases… Gekidasa daze or whatever… that's really lame."

"What?"

"I said, that's lame. Like really lame. I like Echizen Ryoga's mada mada daze better."

"That sounds weirder than mine."

"Uh, no. And dude, do you seriously have to wear your cap backwards? Why do you do that?" You point at the head and ask.

"Because… I like it that way…?"

"Well, that doesn't help at all… I mean, aren't you supposed to wear hats so that you block the sun? Every other guys that wear caps do that. Like Sanada and Echizen,"

He is speechless.

"And I don't get your tennis style. Like, you're not this or that."

He seems hurt. That really should hurt.

"You say you get to the ball "fast" but I know Naniwa's speed star Oshitari Kenya and Kamio are way over your level. What else do you do…? I really haven't seen anything except a ridiculous formation and Ootori's scud serve."

"…" Of course he can't rebut. You feel really bad, since he's the most hard-working one in the team.

Act 3: Compensation

"But hey, what counts is hard work, right?" You slap him on the back and cheer him up.

"H-huh?"

"You're one of the most hard-working people… and you care a lot for your partner too! It's really cute." You say.

"T-Thanks?"

"And you're pretty cool. As in looks and personality wise. Did you know you're picked as number 2 for the contest, "who do you want the most as an older brother?" I would want you as an older brother, hehe. Then bye-bye~!"

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for the late update! I have hard time thinking of the weak points for some characters... and I focus on other fics and such as well, so it kind of delay HTMP. <strong>

**Please check out my other fics! **

**May the Stars Guide You: YanagiXOCXKirihara**

**Lucifer of Rikkaidai: Fem!AKaya, pairing undecided**

**You and I, In this World: NiouXOCXYukimura**

**It Started on a Cruise: RyogaXOCXShiraishi**

**WallFlower: OC story, paring undecided**


	11. Chapter 11: Kikumaru Eiji

How to Mock Your Prince

Chapter 11: Kikumaru Eiji

Requested by: **kawaii-witch181**

Act 1: Annoyance

"Hi Kikumaru."

"Hi~!" He grins like a cat.

"Are you trying to act like a cat? Or are you just made half-cat."

"Ehh? I don't act like a cat."

"Yeah you do. And sometimes it's really annoying."

"Mou, that's a bit mean." He pouts.

Act 2: Mockery

"Ugh, stop with that cute act; it's a bit gross." You groan a little. "Really, it's pretty hard to act cute to a degree where it's a bit too gross. And you're way past that degree. AND THAT NYA-NYA at the EVERY FREAKING END OF YOUR SENTENCES!" You rant.

"You think it's cute? To tell the truth it's not. A real cute person would be Kirihara Akaya, Tooyama Kintarou, Echizen Ryoma, Ootori Choutarou, or Dan Taichi. Just not you. Nuh-uh."

"But… But…"

"That whole cat-façade thing doesn't work; and you wear friggin' _tights_ under your uniform! That's really… I dunno how to explain. And you obviously haven't reached puberty yet since your voice is all high and girly and "cute-little-boy" and stuff."

"…" He just listens.

"You have no respect for you teammate, especially when Momoshiro was dropped out. Seriously, when I see you, you seem like a kindergartener stuck in a middle schooler's body."

"I didn't mean it that time!"

"And acrobatic tennis? Making copies of yourself? Dude, are you serious! That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. You're not friggin Naruto or Goku. If you really want to make a copy of yourself, then that means you have to leave an after-figure of yourself for more than two people." You explain.

"And that only takes about 0.5 seconds to 1 second to disappear, and to make that after-figure last as if it's simultaneously occurring for more than two people you have to travel at at least half of the speed of light."

He's bummed out.

"Which I am saying, is ridiculous and unreal. Well, not that prince of tennis ever wasn't unreal, but still. That is probably the most ridiculous thing that I first came upon. Well, which I guess, you're nothing if you don't even have that."

OOF, SHOOOOOT that was a bit harsh.

…that really was harsh.

Act 3: Compensation

"Pfft. You really believe what I said?"

"Eh?" He looks up with teary eyes.

"Come on, you're supposed to be the jokester! I was joking! You're so adorable I could just pinch you and bite you! Ehehe."

"R-Really?"

"Chyeah. And acrobatic tennis is just awesome! I bet you even beat Mukahi from Hyotei. He can't even do a thing when you're on the court."

"Ahaha, thanks, nya~"

"And you're so good at cooking! And you have the amazing ability to cheer everyone up, it's really really amazing!"

"Aw shucks." He scratches his head.

"So do your best, Eiji~!"

* * *

><p><strong>Update! In about a decade ^^; <strong>

**Next up: Tezuka, Jirou, Momo, Zaizen, and Shinji.**

**Leave a review on which prince you wish to mock!**


	12. Chapter 12: Tezuka Kunimitsu

How to Mock Your Prince

Chapter 12: Tezuka Kunimitsu

Requested by **Purple Scorpion, akai chibi seme**

Act 1: Annoyance

"Hi!" You smile and greet.

"Hello." The terse boy replies with his signature poker face.

"Come on~ How long are you going to put that straight face on?"

"…" He adjusts his glasses.

"Ehh, you're no fun… But that's okay, your hotness trumps it all!" You drool and say, and Tezuka cringes a little.

Act 2: Mockery

"So tell me, how in the world do people have eyes on you when you're not even at Yukimura's level?"

Ooh, going strong and firm from the beginning. I wonder if that was a little too much.

"…"

"I know it this way: you lost to Sanada. Sanada lost to Yukimura. Therefore by the transitive property, you would lose against Yukimura if you played him."

"…." He adjusts his glasses silently.

"So if Yukimura is more skilled then you, then how come he didn't become a pro? How come people don't go suggest scouting him and all?"

"That's not my fault."

"Hmph! You're hogging all the glory Yukimura should be getting. And you!"

He jumps a little.

"Annoy me time to time! When you say, "Yuudan sezu ni ikou," I just want to pull my hair out! Can you get a better catch phrase! At least a new one!"

"…Yuudan sezu ni ikou." He sweatdrops a little after seeing you rage in front of him.

"ARGH! And the way you sing sounds so forced! AND freaking… freaking… what the hell d'ya call it, Tezuka phantom and zone or whatever majigger. Dude. It's. Not. Possible. Do you like, plant a steel inside a ball and attach magnet to yourself? What the fudge! The spin allows the ball to come to you? I know you're smart enough Tezuka, smart enough to understand that a mere spin no matter how powerful it is can't completely deviate from its trajectory! There's gravity and directional speed and velocity, and tennis balls are friggin fast!" You rage on and on.

"W-Well—"

"Adfewxvbpalfjf. Enough." You put your hand in from of him to stop him from saying anything. "Moreover, your moves are all cheap."

"Hou…?"

"Zero shiki? My ass. You can't even get it when you're on the baseline! And freaking Tezuka phantom? My ass. You're not even receiving people's balls and they're flying out without them intending to!"

"…" He just fixes his glasses.

"And honestly, you shouldn't be a pro. I mean, you lost to Atobe, Sanada, even that lil' kid Ryoma and all, so why are YOU trying to be a pro when they should?"

Oof, that was a bit harsh.

"It's not like you could go any far with that shoulder."

ACT 3: COMPENSATION

"WAH! I DIDN'T MEAN ANY OF THATP)(O#*UR!"

"Hmm?" He raises his eyebrows in a weird way.

"I mean, you're like one of the best players out there! Even though you lost to people and all, they were all close games! You're an amazing player!"

"H-Haa…"

"And oh. My. Gosh. You're like, a walking blob of sexiness and appeal. I would love to glomp you but I won't." You continue. "You're smart, you're sexy, you're hot, you're good at tennis, you're nice. Dude, are you like, angel fallen from heaven!"

Although he doesn't smile, you can clearly see warmth in his eyes.

"So have faith in yourself, man! You've got potential! Oh wait you're already the bomb but. Yeah. Bye~!"

* * *

><p><strong>This will take quite a long time to update... but I can be flexible.<strong>

**Please check out my other stories, and leave a review on which prince you wish to mock! (Although I have the wish lists quite packed) **


	13. Chapter 13: Zaizen Hikaru

How to Mock Your Prince

Chapter 13: Zaizen Hikaru

A/N: Oh man this one's going to be hard D:

Act 1: Annoyance

"So… I heard that you're the next Shitenhouji buchou!" You say.

"Yeah." He just answers, nothing more.

"Does that mean you get to look after your dearly brother Kin-chan?"

"I guess."

"…Huh, wait a minute…"

"What."

Act 2: Mockery

"I thought people who are supposed to be actually good at tennis need to be a buchou." You simply say. "But… you're not that good, aren't you?"

His eyebrow twitches. You just hurt his ego.

"I get Kin-chan being better at tennis than you, but… still, you're not really the leader type."

"…"

"And what's up with those piercings on your ears? Did you know you're the only character out of fifty something characters that has triple piercings? Are you into fashion? Or did your sister force you into it?"

"No."

"Then… are you a delinquent? I'm sure middle schools don't usually allow piercings."

"I'm not a delinquent. I do well in school." He grunted.

"Then… Ah-ha!" You shout, slamming down the fist onto your palm. "You're a homo!"

"I'm not a homo!" His voice raises a bit.

"Hou… And dude, seriously, I'd be hecka embarrassed if I had to sit out of a fricking doubles match. You know, you remember that one match from nationals?"

He thinks. And it looks like he remembers. Of course, he has to.

"The one where you tried to step in but ended up failing miserably? Tsk tsk."

He's not making much of a comeback.

"A~ah, it'd suck to not touch a ball a single time at a nationals."

"Shut up." He finally snaps—very calmly.

Act 3: Compensation

"But actually, I know you were recruited by Shiraishi when you transferred!"

"I did."

"That's amazing! Being recruited by the team… that's something!"

"…" He stares at you, confused by a sudden change in your behavior.

"And dude, you're fricking hot. Not joking. Sexy."

He just stares at you, but deep inside he's blushing.

"And I think Shitenhouji will do well with you and Kintarou next year! Good luck, kay?"

"Kay."

"Katta mon gachi ya, right?"

"…Yeah."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Uwaaah I'm finally back with this little series! I've been putting if off cuz I've been running out of ideas, but now I got rid of that writer's block! Alright. So I know I have these characters requested for a mock: Tezuka, Momoshiro, Marui, Tachibana, Kabaji, Jirou, and Ootori.**

**That's already a long list there, but if you want to request please feel free to leave a review. I'll try to switch characters from different school each chapter, so please, have patience and wait until then QQ haha **

**Anddd hmm what else…**

**Oh yes, check out my new FEM!Tezuka fic, Tezuka Kunimitsu, Revamped! And maybe other stories as well ^^ **

**Thanks guys, for always supporting! **


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